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Valentines Day: He Loves Me He Loves Me Not?

Posted by: Dr. Arlene Krieger in palm beach, no sex-drive, marriage counseling, marriage and family therapy, low libido, psychologist, psychology, licensed marriage and family therapist, holidays, Dr. Arlene Krieger, Delray beach, Deerfield beach, charity, boca raton sex therapy, boca raton sex therapist, Boca Raton, board certified clinical sexologist, American Academy of Clinical Sexologists


It’s that time of year again when all is ok with the world and we are all in love! Valentines Day is coming!!!! All of our romantic dreams will come true! Our lovers will understand us, hear our deepest thoughts, validate our existence in this crazy world and love us deeply until the end of eternity. Arrrgghhhhh!

REALITY CHECK: Our nation is in crisis, yet we are trying to make sense of it all. Lovers and couples have much more on their plates than simply attending to daily issues of their marriages, partnerships and relationships. Marriages and relationships are in trouble more than ever now. Fear of losing everything we’ve ever worked for, insecurity of not being able to provide for your family, and the resulting behaviors of arguing non-stop are all taking their toll on relationships~ Homes, jobs and even our relationships are at stake in this economy.

These economic issues are spilling over onto our dinner tables, and seeping into our bedrooms. These changes in the world are affecting our personal lives more than we realize. It is impossible to live in this world without confronting stressors in our daily lives. However, everyone has a breaking point, a place somewhere on the continuum of life where ‘overload’ occurs and you “just can’t take it anymore.” This is the statement heard most often in my therapy office the past few months.

We are satiated, overwhelmed by financial issues, arguments over paying the bills, the pulling apart and separation of the “coupledom” of the relationship. Where is the romantic partnership that we thought we had? What happened to that man/woman that we fell in love with so long ago? Doesn’t he/she love me anymore? Am I still attractive to my partner, don’t they desire me anymore? “We’ve been together for 5….10……20….years and the spark is just not there any longer” these are the greatest concerns of men and women in relationship today.

This month I am featured in the cover story of Boca Magazine’s February 2009 issue- “15 Ways To Say I Love You.” I speak of ways to “Spice It Up” in relationship. Most importantly is the fact that “couples must realize that romance is an absolute. You have to re-create the relationship on a daily basis. Yes, it’s work. But so is getting dressed in the morning and making breakfast.” Relationship is work. It requires no less than the effort one puts into their job, their hobbies, themselves.

To love another requires committment to recognizing their uniqueness. Love is not about creating a clone of yourself and expecting your partner to be exactly like you. Lastly, love is not simply a feeling. Not the lust you first felt in the first few weeks of dating. Rather, LOVE is a decision, an action in understanding and caring for your partners, emotions , likes and dislikes and most importantly your partners needs….”see me…feel me….touch me”…….HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
These animals show us that love, friendship and tolerance are the corner stones for any relationship. Lets be friends and get a long no matter what race, color or sexual orientation we have.

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